Sunday, February 23, 2014

Annoying People We Meet At The Gym

It's no secret that I love the gym. It's my favourite place to go to, and the outcome makes it worth it. I love the burn, I love to sweat and most of all, I love getting stronger.
Lets face it though, the gym is also a fun place to watch people. Subtly, of course. Today, lets introduce you to all the lovely characters I have met at the gym over the last couple of years. Trust me, I'm sure you'll have met them too!

Lets start with Grunts-A-Lot. We all know this man, who tends to make very loud and sometimes very sexual noises at the gym while lifting sometimes heavy, sometimes mild weights. Yes, I have one of them at my gym. He'll roll up his sleeve, pick up his dumbbells and grunt as if he is being raped. Loudly, while looking around to see if anyone is checking him out while he lifts what he considers to be "heavy" weights. This guy is no Dwayne Johnson or Kris Gethin in size. This man is shapeless, round and looks pretty odd overall. If you met him outside the gym, you wouldn't believe he worked out.

Next, Sir-Stares-A-Lot. Now, gym exercises can put you in very compromising positions as a girl. Hamstring curls, squats and splits leave you in positions that can often catch the most decent mans eye, but this one type of gym goers will spend his entire time at the gym staring inappropriately at girls working out, even if they're just running on a treadmill. Sometimes it can get pretty uncomfortable, sometimes they don't even hide it. One man stood above me watching for 15 minutes while I did my weekly ab exercises, not looking away for a second. Fun? Not at all. Don't even getting me started on the men that stare at a girl doing hamstring curls.

The hog. This person is very common, I know them and I'm sure you do too, they will find one equipment and hog it for a long, long time, refusing to share. At my gym, the elliptical machine is the victim of the hogs. They work out on the slowest speed, and lowest level for 35-40 minutes, often stopping to take breaks or answer their phone, while others have to wait their turn or move on to something else. They spend more time watching the television or talking than actually working out. You're not sweating, you're not really doing much, you're obviously obese, maybe put in a little more effort than pick the easiest machine with the easiest settings? This person also takes 3-4 minute long rests between reps and make you wait for the machines for a long, long time.

The interrupter. Now this happened to me today. You know when you're working out and you're totally into it and somebody comes up to you, just 5 minutes into your work out and asks if you're done with the machine? No, I am not, please don't rush me and please just go away. It happens more often when you're a girl in the weight section.  You scrawny little brat, I could probably lift double what you do, so maybe leave me alone till I'm done.

The fitness model. Here is someone who comes decked out in complete gym gear, branded clothes and expensive shoes, but does absolutely nothing. This is also the girl who walks in, in her tiniest shorts and sport bra, talks on the phone, runs for a bit, takes a selfie and leaves. Thank you for gracing us with your presence, we all love to see photos of your Nike shoes, Nike shorts, and Nike wristband.  Not.

The sweat sharer. THIS is my biggest peeve at the gym. These are people who sweat like pigs and leave drops of sweat all over the gym without wiping the equipment. That, is disgusting. You are almost as annoying as the lazy group of people who NEVER replace the dumbbells back to where they belong and leave equipment lying around everywhere. I hope you rot in hell.

The gossips - A social group of ladies to come to chat, gossip and check other girls around. Yes, I know what my diet should be, no I'm not married, and no I don't want to hear about your cousin whose wedding recently ended.

Wow, that was quite a list and I might not even be done.  So here's to all of you who just want to punch these annoying people in the face, I know I do! And if you fall under the categories of one of these people then please, please just, stop.


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