Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Annoying People We Meet At The Movies (Cinema).

I love watching movies, hell, don't we all? But of recently, I've begun to hate visiting cinema's. Yes, I do enjoy the caramel popcorn, Maltesers and large coke but the entire experience of a movie can sometimes be destroyed by an annoying bunch of people.
A few years back, the final Harry Potter movie released and as anyone who knows me is aware, it was a big deal . I was looking forward to it, yet dreading that it was going to be the last movie, so when I booked my tickets to go watch it, I did not expect the tears of frustration to be from the experience, rather than the fact that it was the last Potter movie ever.  There were loud girls giggling in front of me, there was an old man munching popcorn loudly right next to me and there was a girl talking on her phone. I could hardly watch the movie and all the major scenes were thrown off by the loud noises of super annoying people around me.
Over the years this has gotten worse, so here is a list of the most annoying people I have met at movie cinemas

Lets start with the Loud Mouth. Loud Mouth is the guy who eats popcorn or nachos really loudly during really quiet scenes. The sound of munching really doesn't compliment movies and it can get very annoying. Confession? I sometimes pray they choke on it. Yes, I do.

Next, is the cellphone addict, the one person who you want to throw your own phone at. This is the guy/girl who either texts or talks on the phone during the movie. Recently, I decided to go watch Thor 2  and there was this one very high pitched girl who kept talking on her phone, and when we asked her to shut the hell up, she looked at us angrily for interrupting HER. Don't you wish there was a special place in hell for such people? Also annoying is the person who doesn't put his or her phone on silent during the movie and you can hear it ring through out.

Baby Obsessed. Parents who bring their loud, crying, whining children or babies EVERYWHERE inappropriate should be sent to prison. I don't think a baby knows what movies are or what's happening in them, so either keep them with a sitter or stay at home and let us watch the movie we have paid to watch. I did not come to hear the constant crying of a scared or hungry child.

PDA- The Love Bugs. There are top row, and corner seats for those so in love, they can't contain themselves. If you're going to sit infront of me, please, please don't swap saliva and make loud noises while making out. If I wanted to watch porn, i'd stay at home and make use of the unlimited internet access I have.

The Seat Stealers- Now here's a crime that deserves jail time.I don't get people who can't sit in their own seats. Are you blind, or do you think you could get away with taking someone else's seat in a nearly full cinema? What gets even more annoying is after politely asking them to piss off, they argue with you or get mad at YOU.

The Cool Cats- Recently I went for The Conjuring, which was a pretty cool movie, ruined by assholes who thought they were the coolest things ever, because they laughed, clapped or acted witty during scary or silent scenes. I want to get scared when I go for scary movies, because that's the whole fun of it. Please don't let your insecurity and need to cover up your fears, ruin it for me. We know in all honesty you'll are just preventing yourself from getting scared and jumping outta your seats. You're nothing but wusses on the inside. I hope you get haunted by the devil for the rest of your lives.

The talker: 'Who is he", "What did he say", "What just happened?" "What happens next"-  Just shut the hell up and watch the movie, maybe then you wouldn't have to ask too many questions.

The walking spoiler: This is the person who has seen the movie, read the books or read about it online and spend the entire movie ruining it for the rest of us by telling us what happens next. Thanks a lot, now how about you tell us everything that happens and we just go home?

Lets end with The Late Comer : Sometimes you do tend to get late, stuck in traffic and what not... but it is annoying when a group of people enter 20 minutes late and hunt for their seats, cause a commotion and disrupt the movie. If you're walking in late, do it silently or try to avoid creating chaos. Maybe this way you could avoid being killed, and live a little longer.

Have you faced such issues at movies and how many times have you wanted to murder someone?


Monday, February 24, 2014

Mischief Managed: Why did you get a Harry Potter tattoo?

This one is for all of you questioning my tattoo. Why, in the world would I get a Harry Potter tattoo? A tattoo after a book/movie of a 'magical' world. Something fantasy, something that doesn't exist.
Any Potterhead would tell you 'Its Real For Us' but let me explain it to you. Firstly, I will never, as long as I live, regret this tattoo. If at 24, I'm still in love, I will be hooked forever.

Imagine a 5 year old, with nothing to do except watch television, staying alone in an apartment when her parents were at work all day, someone creative but with no idea how to use that creativity. Imagine her growing up, hanging out with friends, going for movies, still no ambition. Imagine her in college, trying to figure out if her major is really what she wants to do. Imagine her searching for a job, still no idea where she's going, with so much creativity she doesn't know how to use it.  That girl could have been me... but it wasn't. At 9, I was given a book I hardly knew would change my life. That book didn't look too appealing, and it was quite big compared to my usual reads, but once I got started I couldn't stop. I was drawn into a magical world, sucked in, and I began to forget that it was just a book. As I moved on to reading the next few books, I was completely lost in this world. I fell in love.
Then followed the waiting game, waiting for the 4th,5th and following books to be out, but I couldn't get over this addiction I had, so I began to read the books again. And again, and again. Each time, I began to notice new facts, observe new plays on words, understand more about the writer. Once again, I was in love, but this time not just with the Wizarding World, but with the writer, J. K. Rowling.
Now, lets pause for a moment and let me tell you about life going on around me at that point. I was NOT a happy child. There were ups and downs, family fights and the separations, a lot of drama that would cause the happiest of children depression, but those tears? They didn't come, because my life was not the trauma that went on around me, but the world of Harry Potter. It could possibly be the only thing that has ever kept me sane.
Now, as the next few books of the series released, I began to notice the writing, the English, the way this amazing author built an entire world with nothing but her words. Remember, when I said I was a child with too much creativity but no idea how to use it? Well, I began to use it to write. J.K Rowling taught me how to create beautiful stories... but that isn't where it ends. With the movies not being out yet, I began to imagine characters, like my favourites, Fred and George, but imagining wasn't enough, so I bought out the pencils and began to draw, character after character. As I grew older, that creativity increased to more serious writing and serious works of art.

Today, I am who I am because of these books, I'm a writer, am I'm artist and most of all I'm sane. I don't believe in getting random butterflies, random dolphins or cupid either, but this means a lot to me, it's close to my heart, which is why I got it tattooed so close to my heart as well ;)
So next time before you judge me, maybe try to get to know me a little more. And to all those Harry Potter obsessed who've had to deal with similar issues, 'Don't let the Muggles get you down'.

Books are proof that humans can create magic.


Sunday, February 23, 2014

Annoying People We Meet At The Gym

It's no secret that I love the gym. It's my favourite place to go to, and the outcome makes it worth it. I love the burn, I love to sweat and most of all, I love getting stronger.
Lets face it though, the gym is also a fun place to watch people. Subtly, of course. Today, lets introduce you to all the lovely characters I have met at the gym over the last couple of years. Trust me, I'm sure you'll have met them too!

Lets start with Grunts-A-Lot. We all know this man, who tends to make very loud and sometimes very sexual noises at the gym while lifting sometimes heavy, sometimes mild weights. Yes, I have one of them at my gym. He'll roll up his sleeve, pick up his dumbbells and grunt as if he is being raped. Loudly, while looking around to see if anyone is checking him out while he lifts what he considers to be "heavy" weights. This guy is no Dwayne Johnson or Kris Gethin in size. This man is shapeless, round and looks pretty odd overall. If you met him outside the gym, you wouldn't believe he worked out.

Next, Sir-Stares-A-Lot. Now, gym exercises can put you in very compromising positions as a girl. Hamstring curls, squats and splits leave you in positions that can often catch the most decent mans eye, but this one type of gym goers will spend his entire time at the gym staring inappropriately at girls working out, even if they're just running on a treadmill. Sometimes it can get pretty uncomfortable, sometimes they don't even hide it. One man stood above me watching for 15 minutes while I did my weekly ab exercises, not looking away for a second. Fun? Not at all. Don't even getting me started on the men that stare at a girl doing hamstring curls.

The hog. This person is very common, I know them and I'm sure you do too, they will find one equipment and hog it for a long, long time, refusing to share. At my gym, the elliptical machine is the victim of the hogs. They work out on the slowest speed, and lowest level for 35-40 minutes, often stopping to take breaks or answer their phone, while others have to wait their turn or move on to something else. They spend more time watching the television or talking than actually working out. You're not sweating, you're not really doing much, you're obviously obese, maybe put in a little more effort than pick the easiest machine with the easiest settings? This person also takes 3-4 minute long rests between reps and make you wait for the machines for a long, long time.

The interrupter. Now this happened to me today. You know when you're working out and you're totally into it and somebody comes up to you, just 5 minutes into your work out and asks if you're done with the machine? No, I am not, please don't rush me and please just go away. It happens more often when you're a girl in the weight section.  You scrawny little brat, I could probably lift double what you do, so maybe leave me alone till I'm done.

The fitness model. Here is someone who comes decked out in complete gym gear, branded clothes and expensive shoes, but does absolutely nothing. This is also the girl who walks in, in her tiniest shorts and sport bra, talks on the phone, runs for a bit, takes a selfie and leaves. Thank you for gracing us with your presence, we all love to see photos of your Nike shoes, Nike shorts, and Nike wristband.  Not.

The sweat sharer. THIS is my biggest peeve at the gym. These are people who sweat like pigs and leave drops of sweat all over the gym without wiping the equipment. That, is disgusting. You are almost as annoying as the lazy group of people who NEVER replace the dumbbells back to where they belong and leave equipment lying around everywhere. I hope you rot in hell.

The gossips - A social group of ladies to come to chat, gossip and check other girls around. Yes, I know what my diet should be, no I'm not married, and no I don't want to hear about your cousin whose wedding recently ended.

Wow, that was quite a list and I might not even be done.  So here's to all of you who just want to punch these annoying people in the face, I know I do! And if you fall under the categories of one of these people then please, please just, stop.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

Once upon a time...

Who knew where it would lead. It was just a first date. I wasn't thinking, he didn't care, in the moment it didn't matter.
The past was irrelevant, the future, was too unpredictable. All that it came down to, was that first moment. He was there, I was with him. Hours passed like minutes, minutes like seconds. We couldn't hear the clock ticking, or see the sun setting. Sometimes, I can't remember it, like a beautiful dream, fuzzy around the edges. Sometimes I remember everything, down to the last detail. I can hear the wind, feel the nerves, see those brown eyes...It was, magical.
But in this story, this "fairytale" has no ending and that's what makes it work. There is no riding off, happily ever after... there is no heartbreak. There is just the two of us. Rekindling that first moment, everyday. Each time, better. Each time, stronger with each new thing we learn about each other.
Perfect? It may not exist, the firsts may have come at us, first fight, first tears, first insults. Yes, perfect does not exist... what exists is the nagging thought at the back of your mind- It's worth it.
It's when two opposites in temperament, meet two similar personalities. He's angry, you're calm. You're  sad, he's funny and vice versa. When one falls down, the other picks them up. Opposite temperaments.
But together you enjoy laughter, sports, and silly dog videos. You found a guy who cuddles kittens, he found a girl who watches Rambo. You found a guy who writes you songs, he found a girl who knows her football.
Perfect, it doesn't exist. In a perfect world, a girl wouldn't beat you devastatingly at FIFA, in a perfect world a boy wouldn't look at you like you were a walking circus and find it cute. In a perfect world, dates wouldn't be at the gym and "Shut up, asshole" wouldn't be said lovingly.
Perfect? Who needs perfect.
I've met my match, and so has he.