Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Annoying People We Meet At The Movies (Cinema).

I love watching movies, hell, don't we all? But of recently, I've begun to hate visiting cinema's. Yes, I do enjoy the caramel popcorn, Maltesers and large coke but the entire experience of a movie can sometimes be destroyed by an annoying bunch of people.
A few years back, the final Harry Potter movie released and as anyone who knows me is aware, it was a big deal . I was looking forward to it, yet dreading that it was going to be the last movie, so when I booked my tickets to go watch it, I did not expect the tears of frustration to be from the experience, rather than the fact that it was the last Potter movie ever.  There were loud girls giggling in front of me, there was an old man munching popcorn loudly right next to me and there was a girl talking on her phone. I could hardly watch the movie and all the major scenes were thrown off by the loud noises of super annoying people around me.
Over the years this has gotten worse, so here is a list of the most annoying people I have met at movie cinemas

Lets start with the Loud Mouth. Loud Mouth is the guy who eats popcorn or nachos really loudly during really quiet scenes. The sound of munching really doesn't compliment movies and it can get very annoying. Confession? I sometimes pray they choke on it. Yes, I do.

Next, is the cellphone addict, the one person who you want to throw your own phone at. This is the guy/girl who either texts or talks on the phone during the movie. Recently, I decided to go watch Thor 2  and there was this one very high pitched girl who kept talking on her phone, and when we asked her to shut the hell up, she looked at us angrily for interrupting HER. Don't you wish there was a special place in hell for such people? Also annoying is the person who doesn't put his or her phone on silent during the movie and you can hear it ring through out.

Baby Obsessed. Parents who bring their loud, crying, whining children or babies EVERYWHERE inappropriate should be sent to prison. I don't think a baby knows what movies are or what's happening in them, so either keep them with a sitter or stay at home and let us watch the movie we have paid to watch. I did not come to hear the constant crying of a scared or hungry child.

PDA- The Love Bugs. There are top row, and corner seats for those so in love, they can't contain themselves. If you're going to sit infront of me, please, please don't swap saliva and make loud noises while making out. If I wanted to watch porn, i'd stay at home and make use of the unlimited internet access I have.

The Seat Stealers- Now here's a crime that deserves jail time.I don't get people who can't sit in their own seats. Are you blind, or do you think you could get away with taking someone else's seat in a nearly full cinema? What gets even more annoying is after politely asking them to piss off, they argue with you or get mad at YOU.

The Cool Cats- Recently I went for The Conjuring, which was a pretty cool movie, ruined by assholes who thought they were the coolest things ever, because they laughed, clapped or acted witty during scary or silent scenes. I want to get scared when I go for scary movies, because that's the whole fun of it. Please don't let your insecurity and need to cover up your fears, ruin it for me. We know in all honesty you'll are just preventing yourself from getting scared and jumping outta your seats. You're nothing but wusses on the inside. I hope you get haunted by the devil for the rest of your lives.

The talker: 'Who is he", "What did he say", "What just happened?" "What happens next"-  Just shut the hell up and watch the movie, maybe then you wouldn't have to ask too many questions.

The walking spoiler: This is the person who has seen the movie, read the books or read about it online and spend the entire movie ruining it for the rest of us by telling us what happens next. Thanks a lot, now how about you tell us everything that happens and we just go home?

Lets end with The Late Comer : Sometimes you do tend to get late, stuck in traffic and what not... but it is annoying when a group of people enter 20 minutes late and hunt for their seats, cause a commotion and disrupt the movie. If you're walking in late, do it silently or try to avoid creating chaos. Maybe this way you could avoid being killed, and live a little longer.

Have you faced such issues at movies and how many times have you wanted to murder someone?


1 comment :

  1. Nice article, i have faced all except for Baby Obsessed.
    And i really hate the late comers and talkers, damn! I wish, i could shoot them there itself.


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