Friday, August 12, 2011

A Lesson In Love

Her mother used to tell her to stay away from boys. She always thought they were evil... the way they leered at her when she walked out late nights, it scared her into believing  her mother’s words. She walked quickly past the boys, and avoided talking to them men. As she grew older, her mothers words stayed with her... She was naive, she knew that but then she met him. He taught her boys could be sweet. He showed her how different the world could be, he taught her to feel, from the tingles to the butterflies... She felt safer and began to trust him. He stole her heart and gave her life, the memories of who she was washed away. She learned that she was beautiful, cute, funny and annoying at the same time... she learned that she knew how to care.  Most of all, she learned that her mother was wrong. She grew dependent on him and he told her he’d never leave. She built the walls around him and felt strong and loved. She grew dependent on his smile, on his voice and on his smell... She’d worry if she didn’t hear from him...

And then he died

Her mother was right, she should have stayed away. Today, she would be happier... The hollow in her chest that once was the resting place of her heart, felt like a slow killing cancer. She wept and wept, all broken and alone. She felt like she could live no more, every night she lay on the bed and wished God to send him back. She’d shut her eyes tight and beg in prayer, but disappointment awaited her. In the mornings she’ wake up praying he would be next to her... but she never had her way. She cried herself  all day and night, throwing up continuously and binge eating through her pain. As time went by she stayed all alone, in her house all by herself. She stopped walking past the mirrors for the sight of  herself horrified her, she was fat and ugly and all the things he told her she wasn’t...
If she could lie in the dark with his scent in the air, she would feel beautiful, she could pretend he was next to her.
As the days past, she began to get sicker... her hunger grew and waistline expanded and she began to worry. 25 Days passed till she suddenly realised....

 he was never gone. Her love , her man... he left a part of him behind and as she looked at herself in the mirror once again... She saw the change in her.She could feel him, in the centre of her belly...growing as each day passed... And She knew in less than 9 months, she’d have him in her arms once again

Once again she turned to the picture on the wall and said “Mama, you were wrong”


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